movement reclamation + the art of struggle
Jess: You and I sat down in the studio a little while ago talked about fitness and your journey with movement! You actually told me the phrase, “In My Movement Reclamation Era!” What was it that you realized about movement that wasn’t sitting right with you before you chose to reclaim it?
Katie: I think for people, especially for women, when we’re little girls we move for enjoyment—to climb a tree, to dance, to play at recess, to pretend we’re mermaids in a pool. Movement is play. Movement is silly. But, somewhere in the process of growing up in our society, that shifts. We are told that the purpose of movement to stay skinny, to make ourselves smaller. Instead of riding a bike with a friend to get ice cream, we’re at the gym miserable on a treadmill to get that ice cream “guilt free.” Movement becomes a punishment almost.
Jess: How long would you say you stayed away from movement?
Katie: From 18 to 28—so about 10 years. I think it took me so long because I was looking at movement in such a linear way. I thought acceptable adult movement was going to the gym and doing cardio or running a marathon. Which never were for me, at all. I don’t think it clicked I could do the things I loved as a kid as an adult—dance, barre, laser tag.
When I realized movement could be anything I wanted that it clicked and I was able to reclaim it.
Jess: When was it you decided to move more for yourself?
Katie: About two years ago now! I started strength-training at a gym in MKE (shout-out to Tiana) ! I wish I could say I started doing it for the “right” reasons, but truthfully I wasn’t. But, what I learned there was that in weight training it was GOOD to take up space. And I liked it. I liked the power that came from lifting heavy. It made me feel strong and badass. That initial session is what kicked off my transformation and after that I was going to workout classes, dance classes— things I never thought I would.
Jess: We’ve also talked about how anxiety impacts us being able to get to the studio! What do you have to tell yourself to mentally prepare to be in the studio?
Katie: As someone who is working on unlearning perfectionism and who gets really uncomfortable in the “unknown”, I had to tell myself that it would be okay if I wasn’t perfect. And that was hard. I also had to be gentle with myself—reminding myself that I hadn’t danced since high school and I wouldn’t be as “good” and that was OK, that was normal.
After that first session, the mental preparation is so much easier. Your positivity and high-energy (which unclear how you do that, sis) made me feel SO SAFE. I don’t know if you noticed but at the start if I got lost, I’d try to like “hide it” but now I’m 100% okay being like “wait, I cannot get that. Let’s go back.” Which is a great skill in life too, right? Like we don’t have to be perfect, we can struggle.
Jess: We don’t have to be perfect, we CAN struggle! So important and so impactful because another tool of patriarchy is perfectionism- which absolutely no one can attain! And if you can’t attain it, why attempt it.. another way we can be paralyzed and stuck. The haus is all about meeting yourself where you are at and finding joy in movement. That is empowering because it is an act of rebellion.
Jess: Speaking of rebellion, I find you incredibly rebellious! You challenge yourself, you work in a male-dominated cooperate field and are constantly claiming your space in those areas AND you write stories (a novel* cough cough) about strong and very real female lead characters. All of this, if you will, are acts of reclaiming movement..
What are other places in our lives you think we can reclaim movement outside of fitness?
Katie: I think we can re-claim movement everywhere, it’s whenever we flip the script—it’s doing things for you, not for societal expectations or the patriarchy.
When we stop making something a bullet on a list, and make it peaceful. Eating, for example we can reclaim our movement in. Instead of rushing through a meal to go back to work, standing at your desk typing an email, you reclaim it when you eat slowly—enjoying the flavor and savoring what food is doing for you.
When you go spend time with a friend, just talking when you “should be” cleaning or working. Honestly, it’s all about centering joy and personhood.
I say I Reclaimed Movement because I am longer moving for society, I’m not moving to punish myself, or to stay a weight society deems socially acceptable. Rather, I’m moving for ME, for my joy, for my peace, for my clarity. For how it makes my body feel. I’m moving for senior citizen Katie and so she can walk up the stairs in Santorini when she’s retired, I’m moving for 8-year-old Katie who was happiest when on stage, I’m moving for 40-year-old me. I think that can be radical in a society, to use movement to take up more space, to be louder, to demand more.