UpCycle Purpose
I often use the phrase we all have our strengths. And while I do consider myself a creative, I know my creativity has limits. That limit is working with my hands in most capacities. I can’t cook. I can’t bake. I tried a DIY home-craft in COVID and hated every moment of the sanding and painting and screwing tiny pieces together. One would think years of having to sew my own pointe shoes would’ve given me some ability to fix things with a quick stitch- but one would be wildly mistaken.
When I met Cayci one of the first things I remember was complimenting a bag she was holding. Then she told me she made it and I was dumbstruck. Imagine my jealousy when she walked into the haus wearing a jean jacket she’d also made. Cayci’s strength and skill is unmatched and I’m so glad I asked her story.
Cayci: I think it was the blanket coat I made! It was originally a classic woven throw blanket of an apple orchard that I turned into a lil cutie apple coat!
Jess: How did PACE come about?
Cayci: For me, this breaks down in two parts. Part 1: the sewing and Part 2: the naming.
1: I learned to sew when I was little, about 10. I remained creative throughout my teens years but never personally invested in a sewing machine and sort of forgot about it. In 2018 I asked for a sewing machine for Christmas to see if I still had the itch. (spoiler: I very much still did) I made scrunchies and took it slow. Then 2020 hit and, like many of us, I found myself questioning everything. In my newly found free time and with a new sense of purpose behind the machine, I started cranking out masks. (so...many...masks!) This gave me enough confidence in my skillset to start branching into other things.
2: The naming came naturally to me. For as long as I can remember I’ve carried an internal weight (looking at you anxiety). But as a child I didn’t know that this weight had an explanation. I just searched for ways to counter it. A safe space for me has always been on the edges of an old rug in my grandma's house. I would pace the rug to calm my mind — recenter. And when I picked sewing back up I felt that same feeling again... a recentering. A way to dim everything else and a focus on the present -- a focus on the process. It had to be PACE.
Jess: The word center has always had a deep meaning for me. A company I was a part of for years was called ‘Off Center.’ We made work about being a little left of center, of challenging the norm and trying to rewrite a heteronormative script. I love the idea that art can center all of us- it can ground us personally or bring people together for a collective understanding. Finding an outlet like dancing or sewing can grant us the space to get clear and center and repurpose.
Jess: Speaking of repurpose, you “up-cycle” material?
Cayci: I feel proud to use mostly all repurposed materials. I absolutely love thrifting and being able to thrift with a focus is magic to me. Plus, there are far too many textiles ending up in landfills. It's always such a joy to come across a beautiful fabric/garment/blanket/you-name-it and see the potential for it to live on as something else!
Jess: For those readers like me who couldn’t imagine being able to create with their bare hands- how do you think we can find a creative outlet?
Cayci: Honestly for me, it was going back to my roots. Sewing was something I did as a kid and it felt cozy to me. My advice would be: don't try to force a brand new thing that seems scary and overwhelming. Start with something you already (or used to) find joy in. It most certainly does not need to be creative! Did you love climbing trees as a kid? Okay well get your booty into the forest more often.
It’s also about community. Find someone else who shares a similar interest and at the very least talk to them about it. If you're feeling brave, do the hobby together. I found myself massively inspired after craft nights with friends where we all work on something different, but in each other's company.
Jess: You know I love community. Community means growth and support and empowerment. It gives us the confidence to practice a craft and the comradery to feel safe to succeed and fail. And when we allow ourselves that judgement-free space we can find so much strength in ourselves. It seems like PACE gives you inner-strength.
Jess: What do you want to leave your community with?
Cayci: The important part is doing something you love and enjoying the process. The process of sewing itself is really special to me; it feels like therapy. Find your special thing! Don't be afraid to trust your experiences and see where they lead you. Pick something back up even when you feel shame that you haven't kept up with it. Don't let the shame win! It's about reclaiming confidence when your tank is empty. It's about knowing when to start something new and when to put that shit down. It's about finding systems that work for you. It's really about choosing yourself.